In the previous article, Workplace Bullying Part 1, we talked about what workplace bullying is and the experiences outside and at work that may be indicators that you are being bullied. Before we move on, let me tell you about a time that I was the bully. I am ashamed to admit it but there was an older woman that I worked with in a salon and she was well liked and had the shift that I wanted. So I picked on her at work and made mean jokes that eventually hurt her feelings enough to have her husband call and threaten me at work. By the way, this did not work it simply made me more powerful and I laughed at her for the effort. She left the position and I got her shift, which was the main goal. However, looking back it was a stupid thing to do. I missed working with her and the kindness that she brought with her into the salon every day. My actions led to others treating others badly for the same effect and unfortunately one of my best friends in the salon was targeted and was fired. I am ashamed to have been the bully and to have done this to someone else. I regretted it back then and am still shamed because I was the a-hole at work. My actions were not worth it and I am very sorry to this dear lady that I bullied.
In this article I would like to address who is a typical victim and who is a bully along with some important tips of what to do if you do find that you are being bullied.
Who is a Victim?The bully see’s you as a threat to their standing or job.You are a veteran or the most skilled person in the workgroup.You are independent and refuse to be subservient to the bully.You are more technically skilled then the bully.You are well liked at work and have excellent social skills with greater emotional intelligence then the bully.You are ethical and honest with dignity (whistleblower).You are non-confrontational so you do not respond to aggression at work.
Who is a Bully?They cannot stand to share credit for ideas or recognition with a subordinate (usually a boss or veteran employee).They escalate their campaigns of hatred and intimidation to wrest control of target’s work trying to make them less credible.They make it so that others side with them and eventually succeed at isolating the victim.The bully is never reprimanded at work because of excuses like “it’s the way it is around here” or “this is a competitive job”.They have aggressive tendencies that are labeled by others as ambition.They kiss up or ingratiated themselves with people of power in the company to not have their actions questioned.
What can you do if you are a Bully?